Christmas in Bethlehem

I did a brief overview of my Christmas in Bethlehem in my most recent newsletter (if you didn’t get it and want to…let me know, gastal01@luther.edu) but I wanted to share a few more pictures and some video. If you want to see more pictures you can check out my Facebook album. 

When I agreed to come to the West Bank for the year, I knew I would be missing a lot of things: birthdays, family gatherings, friend’s weddings and other important events.  Most of these things I have come to terms with missing but I hadn’t quite come to terms with spending Christmas away from my family, away from friends, away from familiar traditions and away from snow.  However, if I couldn’t spend Christmas at home with all that is familiar had home, I couldn’t think of a better place to be than amidst what has become so familiar here. 

But without the Christmas music on the radio, frantic buying of presents and snowy cold weather(however, it sounds like Iowa has been missing that too), it took a while to begin to feel like Christmas.  However, when Christmas arrived here, it arrived in full swing, starting on Thursday, December 15^th, 9 days before Christmas day.

Kate, Matt and I

That Thursday afternoon brought an exciting re-connection as I headed into Jerusalem to pick up two dear friends, who I worked with at Camp EWALU, Kate and Matt.  They are currently traveling around the world, and decided to be in the area for Christmas.  After we dropped their stuff at my house, we headed to Beit Sahour church for some caroling and church decorating and Papa Noel even made an appearance to bring chocolate to the children, and adults too! 

Lit Christmas tree

Saturday night, Beit Sahour kicked off their Christmas celebrations by lighting their Christmas tree.   The celebration started with a parade of the area scout groups (kind of like a combination of marching band, youth group and boy/girl scouts), which included a lot of bagpipes. After the parade, we gathered with 3,000 plus people in the city center.   As people gathered, a band sang Christmas carols. Before the lighting of the tree we heard a speech from the Palestinian Prime Minister Salam Fayyad.  While we didn’t understand much of the speech, we did catch the words “Newt Gringrich"  and could only assume he was addressing the comments Newt Gringrich made about Palestinians being a made-up people.   After the speech, there was a countdown, the band sang “Angels We Have Heard on High” (or however that translates into Arabic) and with the chorus of “Gloria in Excelsis Deo” the tree was lit.

Peanut packing

Tuesday brought two of the most interesting new Christmas experiences of the year.  At the school on Tuesday afternoon, we gathered with the teachers to fill a bunch of bags with peanuts and chocolate.  Initially, I didn’t know what to expect but we gathered in a common room and while the purpose was to gather to fill the bags, it seemed to be more of an excuse to gather together to joke, laugh and eat peanuts.

Tueseday evening, 3 fellow YAGM’s and I went to a concert by a group called Shibat, a Palestinian rock ‘n’ roll group that gets together for a series of Christmas concerts every year.   This year’s concert included a variety of traditional English and Arabic Christmas carols including Little Drummer Boy and Mary, Did You Know as well as songs like Sound of Music, Pinball Wizard and Jailhouse Rock. The concert concluded with a dance party to medley of Christmas songs starting with Feliz Navidad (I apologize for the quality of the video but I was dancing too…):

Teachers dancing at Christmas party

Adorable KG at program

Thursday was our last day of school.  The kids came to school for an hour to gather for worship and awards, afterwards the students were all given gifts and bags of peanuts (remember those from Tuesday?).  Thursday night brought the school’s Christmas program where each grade had a short performance.   After the program, the teachers from all of the Lutheran Schools gathered for their Christmas celebrations.  There was much laughter, eating and, of course, DANCING.  Well…ok there was a lot laughing at our dancing but we had a lot of fun trying to keep up with the dancing.

Nativity Set

Friday all the YAGM gathered together with our coordinators to celebrate Christmas.   While there we even got Christmas stockings (aka a pair of warm fuzzy socks YAY!) stuffed with candy, olive soap and our own olive wood nativity complete with a removable separation wall. I was also pretty excited to get a chance to build a fire in a fire place where we gathered to eat cookies, drink cocoa and sing carols. On the way back to our houses, we took a tour of the Christmas lights in the area. 

Saturday, Christmas Eve brought a series of parades, in and around Manager Square, by the local scouts groups, aka lots of drums and bagpipes!  We then spent most of the day hanging around Manager Square listening to concerts, including a group that sang John Lenon’s Imagine.   The day concluded with a tri-lingual (Arabic, English and German) worship service at Christmas Lutheran Church, where I sang in the choir and we sang in Spanish (so I guess that makes it a quad-lingual service).  The service finished with a candlelight singing of Silent Night. 

In a time when I was missing my community back home, the numerous opportunities to gather with a variety of communities here was a great reminder of the communities that I have become a part of in the past four months.  In a time where I didn’t expect to find much of the familiar, I was grateful to find myself surrounded by the familiar in the newness.

Candlelight service at Christmas Lutheran (Laurin-Whitney Gottbrath) 

Communication, communication

“One problem that recurs more and more frequently these days 

in books and plays and movies is the

 inability of people to communicate with the people they love…

and the characters in these books and plays and so on, 

and in real life I might add, 

spend hours bemoaning the fact that they can’t communicate. 

I feel that if a person can’t communicate the very least he can do is to SHUT UP!” 

 ~Tom Lehrer

This advice comes from Tom Lehrer, musical comedian probably most well known for his “Elements Song.”  There was a point in my life where I completely agreed with him, after all if you can’t communicate why keep talking?  That all changed when I moved to another country and had to start trying to learn another language.  

As a YAGM group we took a weeks worth of Arabic when we arrived here, but we moved at a pretty fast pace and I was pretty overwhelmed.  For a while, I used the Arabic I knew ONLY when I was certain of the words I was going to use.  I could say hello, introduce myself, ask how much something cost and tell somebody I spoke a little Arabic.    I spent a lot of time being certain that I didn’t know what was going on or that I couldn’t speak any Arabic.  I was frustrated that I wasn’t learning Arabic and that it wasn’t getting easier. In short, I felt I couldn’t communicate, and spent hours bemoaning this fact and saying to myself “I need to learn Arabic.”  So, in following Mr. Lehrer’s advice, I SHUT UP!

Then two things happened.  The first was I started taking Arabic lessons from a Kindergarten teacher at my school.  This was helpful on a practical level as I was now in a formal learning situation so I was actually learning Arabic again.

The second was having several people decide that they were going to speak to me in Arabic and expected me to respond in kind, including a wonderful older gentleman from my church named Abdullah.  Abdullah greets me every time he sees me in Arabic requires that I do the same, then he will continue our conversation in a mixture of Arabic and English, gently correcting my mistakes, filling in words I don’t know and congratulating me when I figure out how to communicate what I need. 

He keeps telling me that “where there is a will there is a way” and I generally respond with “where there are Kindergarteners who need to be understood there is a will” and he will tell me that I will speak Arabic by the end of the year. 

Slowly, I am beginning to believe him because the more I try to communicate in Arabic the more I discover I actually can.   By no means am I even remotely conversational but this is a moment where shutting up actually does more harm than good.  When I am willing to try to communicate, I discover that I can actually communicate to a cab driver that I need him to wait while I get my friend from a hotel and then need him to take us to the Lutheran Church.  I can communicate with one of the students that I need them to sit down and no, they cannot go to the bathroom again.  I can communicate to the shawerma man that I am vegetarian so I don’t want meat, I just want salads on my sandwich.

While these communications aren’t always pretty, never lengthy and are nowhere near grammatically correct, as I struggle through these conversations, people are incredibly gracious and forgiving.   Which makes these conversations more than attempts to communicate needs and wants, they are a way to keep building relationships here and of to continuing to make new friends.

Real Heroes

Anyone can slay a dragon, he told me,
but try waking up every morning
& loving the world all over again.

That's what takes a real hero.
(StoryPeople)

“The Situation”

“The Conflict”

How often are these words used to describe the place that I now call home? People ask how “the situation” affects life, politicians talk about “the conflict”, I came to get a better understanding of “the situation” and almost everybody is aiming to solve “the conflict.” The focus is on UN resolutions, UNESCO admittance, peace talks, and quartet delegations. With all this focus on what is happening on the global stage, it is easy to forget about the people who live here every day, who each day wake up and make their life here.

After a recent Sunday morning church service, I had the opportunity to have a conversation with Pastor and a group of visiting Lutherans. So much of me wishes I would have recorded this conversation so I could let you listen to it and hear his words and his voice for yourself. He talked about his hopes for a peace that would allow him to keep his rights. He spoke of a hope without optimism. He told stories of being a minority of a minority(Christian=minority #1, Lutheran=#2) but encouraging his congregation to add their “brick” with the hopes that when everybody adds a brick something wonderful can be built. He shared his changing the Lord’s Prayer to “Lead us not into humiliation" each time he crosses the checkpoint. He asked that when we returned home, we returned changed and ready to continue to walk with the Palestinian people. But mostly he reminded us that life is happening here daily:

“When people speak about Palestinians they talk about a people in crisis. They do not speak of the life here. When politicians stop seeing us as a people in crisis and start seeing us as a people with needs and with life, then peace will happen.”

“It isn’t happy all the time, we do cry, but after our crying there is a new day. Life here is a choice. To wake up each morning, that is a choice, that is life here. The parents who decided to get their children an education so they will be ready when there is peace, that is life here. To need permits to cross our borders and visit our holy sites, but to keep trying, that is life here. To be labeled dangerous by a government, and to choose non-violence, that is life here.”

Every day I spent here, I get to spend time working with and getting to know the real heroes here. They are the parents of the children I help teach, the teachers I work with, the host family I live with and the people who continue to share their stories in hopes that somebody will hear them.

Yes, Palestine’s acceptance into UNESCO is a great victory, the UN resolution is important and successful peace talks would be a huge step forward. But I do believe that the real heroes are the people who live here and decide to wake up each morning, choose life and work to love the world are the real heroes.

At this point, I leave you with words from Rafeef Ziadah, a Palestinian spoken word artist and activist. Please take the time to hear her words.

“We teach life, Sir. We Palestinians wake up every morning
to teach the rest of the world life!
Sir!”

Deep Roots

When I die, she said, I'm coming back as a tree with deep roots &
I'll wave my leaves at the children every morning on their way to school &
whisper tree songs at night in their dreams. 

Trees with deep roots know about the things children need.
(StoryPeople)

Olive trees are an everyday part of my life here. They are in my backyard. They are on my way to school. They pepper the fields on the hills across from my house. They are all over. Like apple harvesting back home, olive harvest marks the change in seasons. So as the weather gets a bit colder, those olive trees have surrounded by tarps and filled with people harvesting olives.

The past weekend, I had the chance to participate in two olive harvestings. The first day was spent with a local Palestinian family and the second was at the Lutheran World Federation campus on the Mount of Olives, yep I got to harvest olives on the Mount of Olives! SO COOL!!!

Olive harvesting is a bit of work but a lot of fun. For me it was chance to climb through the trees and get my hands dirty, to be outside in the sun doing work and feel good about accomplishing something.

First the olives must be removed from the tree.
This is done by either “milking” the branches or using a rake like comb. Rather than picking each olive individually they are milked or combed to drop on a large tarp.

After all the olives are out of the tree and on the tarp,
all the olives are gathered into a central location on the tarp and all of the extra branches, leaves and stones are picked out.

Then the olives are dumped into a bag which will be taken to
an olive press to be turned into olive oil.

The olive oil from the olives we harvested on the Mount of Olives will be sold and all proceeds will go to the Augusta Victoria Hospital, for more information about buying this olive oil check here: http://lwfjerusalem.org/projects/olive-oil/

The time spent in harvesting olives was a fantastic opportunity to be a part of Palestinian life.

The 8 trees I harvested with the local family have been in this family “forever,” which as far as we can figure meant several hundred, if not a thousand, years. The trees have lived through so much and if they could talk they would tell us stories of peace and war, struggles and joys, beginnings and ends. They have seen the history of this place and their roots are deeply planted in the land and its history

As we climbed in the trees, we heard the family tell some stories that these trees might tell. They told of olive harvests past, struggles of the present to keep their land and hopes for a peaceful future. And as I sat among the branches of the olive trees hearing this stories, I was struck by how much these trees are like the families and the people that care for them, deeply rooted in their land and in their history.

To see more pictures of olive harvest and other adventures check pictures on Facebook here and here.

I have also just sent out my first newsletter, if you didn’t get it and would like to please e-mail me at gastal01@luther.edu.

Recipes we create

In 2007, a movie called No Reservations- starring Catherine Zeta-Jones and Abigail Breslin- was released. This movie follows Kate(Catherine Zeta-Jones), a master chef in NYC, as her life takes a dramatic turn when she becomes the guardian of her nine-year old niece Zoe(Abigail Breslin). (Thanks to IMDB for the summary)

Towards the end of the movie, Kate is talking to her therapist, frustrated with her feelings of failing and uncertainty as she navigates this new chapter of her life and the following conversation takes place:

Kate: I wish there was a cookbook for life, you know? Recipes telling us exactly what to do. I know, I know, you're gonna say "How else will you learn, Kate."

Therapist: mm. No, actually I wasn't going to say that. You want to guess again?

Kate: No, no, go ahead.

Therapist: Well what I was going to say was, you know better than anyone, it's the recipes that you create yourself that are the best.

I think one of the reasons I like this movie is because of my love of cooking. I love the process of creating something new and seeing how it turns out. I love the idea of learning from my failures and attempting to recreate my successes. I love that at the end I have something I can share with people. Once when I asked my mom for some help with a recipe she told me that it was "more of an art than a science." I suppose if it were a science every apple pie and chocolate chip cookie would taste as good as my grandma's!

In the past couple of weeks, my roomie and I have fallen into a wonderful (well, wonderful for me) pattern, where I cook and she cleans up afterward.

I will usually start with what I can find in the kitchen, I will begin the hunt for a recipe. Finding a couple I like, I take the basics-ingredients, temperature and cook time- and then go from there. I add different spices, leave things out if I don’t like them, and make substitutions if something can’t be found. Sometimes the result is not so great, but most of the times I come up with something I am excited about and excited to share: roasted veggies, pita chips, cheesy rice and beans and most recently an apple dessert.

In many ways, this year with YAGM is just one more series of recipes I will create. There is no cookbook for this year, no recipes telling me “exactly what to do.” I have been given some of the basic ingredients: the people, the places and the primary worksite.

However, after that, how the recipes turn out is totally up to me. I get to decide how strong the relationships are, what other places I will add and the extra places I will volunteer. When things don’tgo quite as planned, I get to decide what subsitutions to make and how to tailor the results to make it better. I get to decide what things to say “yes” to some experiences that will enhance and say “no” to the things that I don’t think will fit. I get to create something new, learn from my mistakes and in the end share it with people when I return home. And at the end of the year, I will have a few brand new recipes to add to the cookbook of my life.

Small pools of light

My favorite time of day is just at dark
when all thoughts of what must be done stop &
small pools of light
come alive on tired faces everywhere.
~StoryPeople

This past Thursday night, Courtney and I had the opportunity to attended a retirement party for a former science teacher at Beit Sahour School. This teacher also happens to be my host mother. It was a wonderful night full of good food (LOTS AND LOTS OF GOOD FOOD!), stories, jokes and laughter.

As is the theme in my life right now, I understood barely any of the conversation because it was mostly in Arabic, except for the pieces that were in English for our benefit. However, despite not being able to understand the specifics of what were being said, it was pretty easy to understand the overall of the night.

We were gathering to celebrate the years that my host mom had worked at the school, and it was easy to see how much all of the other teachers loved her and how much she loved them all. That love filled the room and became a contagious energy. It was kind of like one of those commercials for Olive Garden where friends and family are sitting at a table passing food and alaughing, except rather than pasta and breadsticks it was hummus and kebobs being passed around.

As I sat and looked around the room, taking in the joy, laughter and love, I saw the “small pools of light come alive on tired faces.”

Taybeh

What do you think when you think of Oktoberfest?

If you are like me, you think of Germans, brats, polka and beer. If you are like me, nothing about Oktoberfest makes you think Palestine.

Well, this weekend past weekend the YAGMs got the opportunity to attend the wonderfully cultural event of Palestinian Oktoberfest. Yep, that’s right, we attended Oktoberfest in Palestine. Since 2005, the annual Oktoberfest happens in Taybeh. Taybeh (which means good in Arabic) is a town famous for its olive trees, figs, grapes and almonds, plus it is believed to be the village where Jesus stayed with the disciples before the crucifixion.

Taybeh is also famous because it is home to the brewery of the only Palestinian brewed beer-Taybeh. So every year, Oktoberfest happens to celebrate all that is Taybeh. It is a wonderful opportunity to enjoy good food, live music, dancing and yes Taybeh beer. We feasted doughnuts and ice cream, saw a Sri Lanka dancer and heard a Spanish Folk Rock band (at a Palestianian Oktoberfest, talk about culture shock). It was a time of joyous celebration, see the below clip for some ideas of what happened.

However, if that was all that Taybeh was, I probably would not be blogging about it. Taybeh is not just a beer and Oktoberfest is not just a chance to gather for good times. Rather, they are a celebration of Palestine, and at their very core a part of the resistance. In the words of the Taybeh brochure:

Every thing about Taybeh is extremely revolutionary,

if not extraordinary.

In the middle of intense conflict, you find a community

striving to be normal and crying out to the world for the need to do astonishing things in the middle of oppressed conditions.

Taybeh responds with peaceful resolutions of celebrating its existence.

So the weekend is also full of Palestinian food (Shawarma, Falafel), Palestinian art, Palestinian dancing(dabka) and Palestinian based musicians, like Toot Ard,:

From what we can figure the chorus translates “Peace with you, Beautiful Peace”

So aside from being a joyous celebration and beautiful weekend, it was also a chance to gather and to celebrate the beauty of the Palestinian culture. The celebration of all that Palestine has to offer serves as a way to say, we are here, don’t forget about us. It was also a powerful reminder that while there are debates happening on the international level, the real revolution and real resistance are happening in little ways, every day on the ground in “normal Palestinian” life.

Yummy, yummy falafel

Crowd enjoying Toot Ard.

“My name is Palestine and I will be Palestinian forever.”

Bethlehem based Hajj MC.

Years that ask questions

Just before I left for Chicago, a dear friend gave me a box of quotes, pictures and fun facts, one for each day of the upcoming year. The other day my fun fact was that “the average 4 year old asks over 400 questions a day.”

After working with the Kindergarten class, I would believe it. The kids are super adorable

and full of curiosity. Now most of the time I don’t actually understand what questions are being asked, as they are usually in Arabic. Ok, they are always in Arabic. Sometimes I can figure out what the questions are, but usually not, so most of the time a question or statement is jabbered at me, a confused look passes over my face and the child scampers off to continue whatever they were doing.

This whole process can be pretty frustrating. The not being able to understand or respond or even communicate basic requests is challenging. But the beautiful thing is that it has taught me the universal language of high 5s, smiles and goofy faces. On these days it is amazing to simply be surrounded by the easy joy and amazement of children.

Yet, many times I end up feeling like the four-year old asking 400 hundred questions: “Shu hada?” (“What’s this?”). Shu ismek/ismak? (What’s your name (m/f)?). My questions are usually answered with a following response of laughter, rolled eyes and as much frustration and indignation as a 5-6 year old can muster when I totally butcher the pronunciation of the word they have told me.

But the questions continue outside of school as well as I continue to try to navigate around. Questions about where things are, questions about what things mean, questions about the culture, questions of how things work, questions of who people are and so on and so forth.

While sometimes all of these questions are frustrating and I am often left with more questions than answers, there is a great joy in learning again to look with the inquisitive eyes of a 4 year old. To question everything around me and find joy in discovering an answer.

I leave you with a quote that accurately describes this year for me, plus some pictures of cute children to make you smile.

There are years that ask questions and years that answer.

~Unknown

Big Strange Family

I don't think of it as
working for world peace,
she said.
I think of it as just trying to get along in a
really big strange family.
(StoryPeople)

We have been here for a week and a half now, and it has been quite the experience. As we have started to orientate ourselves to this place, I have come to love the people, the places, and the food. Yet, in the midst of all of this orientation, I have spent a lot of time trying to understand what it happening around me. I struggle to grasp the language, the politics and the geography.

It is a challenge to find the words to share all of these experiences, and should the words be found it would have to be a really long blog. So, for now I will leave you with a story that has provided me with inspiration, hope and joy.

Today was my first day at Beit Sahour School, where I will be working for the next year. We spent a fair amount of time just hanging out in the library and doing a few random odd tasks, as we get more familiar with the school our jobs will become more clear. However, at one point I was asked to join an interview of a younag woman, 15 years old. The interview was for a chance to go to Poland for a conference about conflict resolution and I was asked to join because I was a native English speaker.

This young woman was asked to introduce herself and a few other questions but her answers to two of the questions stood out to me. The first was when one of the interviewers asked if she would have any problems working with Israelis or Jews, and her response was pretty simple, but also profound: “No, because they are humans too. It doesn’t matter what Israel’s policies are…They {the people she would be meeting} are just human beings.” She continued on to talk about wanting to share her story, and try to understand how they felt and why they felt the way they felt.

A bit later, she was asked how she would feel working with Muslims. Again, she responded similarly, and talked about “that if we believe that we are all from God” that we should “get to know each other and understand for ourselves.”

This young woman was only 15 years old, but in her words I found a light that I had forgotten as I struggle with the enormity of the challenges and struggles around me. My year here is not about solving the conflict, rather, it is about learning about and creating a new family.

Ahlan Wa-Sahlan

Whenever I go on a trip, I think about all the homes I've had & I remember how little has changed about what comforts me.
(StoryPeople)

We safely arrived in Jerusalem on Sunday afternoon after about 16 hours of travel. Jeff and Julie, our country coordinators, meet us in the airport and whisked us away to the Mountain of Olives (you’re jealous aren’t you?) where would be staying that night. After we found our rooms, we went to meet up with a bunch of wonderful people and looked out over the city, saw the Dome of the Rock, played some volleyball, ate some delicious pizza, and finished the night with some worship.

The days in between our arriving and now, have been a bit of a blur. We have had 4 Arabic lessons, been to the Old City, ate a lot of falfel and hummus, drank a lot of tea, went to Yed Vashem (Israel’s Holocaust Memorial), played more volleyball, had an impromptu jam session,introduced myself fi arabi (ans ismi Alma) and so much more.

It has been busy, and sometime chaotic, but nevertheless it has been simply wonderful. There is a lot that is new and unfamiliar but within all that is constantly changing I find myself being constantly surrounded by things that are familiar. Our first night here we bonded over a game of volleyball. Our jam sessions and worships have included some of my favorite worship songs-“We are Called”, “Prince of Peace” and “Blessed be Your Name” to name a few.

However, one of the most comforting things has been the sense of welcome that I have felt. The title of this blog, “Ahlan wa Sahlan” is an Arabic phrase of welcome. According to my Arabic teacher it literally translates to “Family and Plain” which comes from “May our house be to you as if it were your family’s, as a flat plain where you walk easily and in security” or “You are among family.”

On Monday afternoon Laurin-Whitney(my roomie, aka LW) and I, got to move into our flat and meet our host mom, S. She welcomed us in, showed us our place, invited us up for tea and assured us if we needed anything we should just ask. Later that evening, we meet up with the rest of our group and another host family for supper. After we gorged, and I mean gorged these people know how to do food!, as we prepared to leave, S. pointed to us and said to the other host mother “These are my daughters.” We had known her less than 5 hours and we were already being introduced and welcomed in as family.

This is not uncommon. Everywhere we go we are deeply welcomed, and our attempts at Arabic are greeted with enthusiasm, even if we are barely muddling through. In an early e-mail that Julie sent to the other YAGM at my school and myself, she told us that the vice principal of the school had said “one week they'll be nervous and after that, they'll be family.” At the time I had doubted it a bit, but after 5ish days, I am not so skeptical anymore. As the busyness settles down, or at least takes on a new form, I am excited to continue to get to know this place and to grow in this family.

May you be among family and may you walk easily and in security.

Doorways

Today is the day. In just a few short hours, I will be getting in a shuttle to take me to O'Hare, then a flight to Frankfurt and finally to Tel Aviv.

As I stand in this doorway to this new adventure saying my final goodbyes, I recalled this quote from Alan Alda's book Things I Overheard While Talking to Myself. It is a quote from part of his speech at his daughter's graduation from Connecticut College in 1980.

Deep in our hearts we know that the best things said come last. People will talk for hours saying nothing much and then linger at the door with words that come with a rush from the heart. Doorways, it seems, are where the truth is told. We are all gathered at a doorway today. It's the end of something and the beginning of something else. And my guess is there will be a lot of lingering at the door today with the hope that one of us will say something that will somehow express what can't be said in words.

We linger there with our hand on the knob chattering away like Polonius to Laertes. Now remember "neither a borrower nor a lender be"... and don't forget "This above all: To thine own self be true and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man." But the very best things said often slip out completely unheralded and preceded by the words, "Oh, by the way."…..

Don't ever aim your doubt at yourself. Laugh at yourself, but don't doubt yourself. Whenever you wonder about yourself, look up at the stars swirling around in the heavens and just realize how tiny and puny they are. They're supposed to be gigantic explosions and they're just these insignificant little dots. If you step back from things far enough you realize how important and powerful you are. Be bold. Let the strength of your desire give force and moment to your every step. Move with all of yourself. When you embark for strange places don't leave any of yourself safely on shore. They may laugh at you if you don't discover India. Let them laugh. India's already there. You'll come back with a brand new America. Have the nerve to go into unexplored territory. Be brave enough to live life creatively. The creative is the place where no one else has ever been. It is not the previously known. You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. You can't get there by bus, only by hard work and risk and by not quite knowing what you're doing, but what you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover will be yourself.

Well, those are my parting words as today's door closes softly between us. There will be other partings and other last words in our lives so if today's lingering at the threshold didn't quite speak the unspeakable, maybe the next one will.

The full text of the speech can be found here: Alan Alda Speech

Readjustment of Goals

It’s not a failure. Its just a readjustment of goals.
-Cindy McPeake

I don’t remember the exact context for this quote, but at some point during lunch as we were talking about failures, one of my fellow YAGM’s offered this wonderful piece of re-framing.

In the past week, as we have waited for visas and flight plans this has been incredibly helpful to remember. But, we have finally accurately readjusted our goals and we picked up our visas from the Israeli consulate yesterday and have flights booked from O’Hare on Saturday at 3:40 pm and arrive in Tel Aviv on Sunday at 3:00 pm.

I am so excited to finally have my visa in hand and a departure date. But this advice is something that I will carry with me for the next year as I encounter challenges and events that I perceive as failures. They are not failures, they are simply a readjustment of goals.

Waiting for the New Day

only lies down at night because

you've got to do something while

you're waiting for the new day

(StoryPeople)

In the past week, we have done a lot of laying down at night so that we could wait for the new day and the news that it would potentially hold. The six of us Jerusalem/West Bank volunteers are still waiting in Chicago and our visas are still in limbo. We awaiting the e-mail that informs us of our departure date. Everybody at the ELCA and ELCJHL(Evangelical Lutheran Church in Jordan and the Holy Land) is doing everything they can, so in the meantime all we can to is hurry up and wait.

The wonderful flip side of all the waiting, is that it has meant some quality group bonding time and exploration of Chicago. Yesterday we got a chance to go to ELCA Churchwide offices. We got a tour of the building, we even got to see Bishop Hanson’s desk.

We also got to spend some time talking to Robert Smith and Julie Rowe of the ELCA’s Peace Not Walls campaign and got a wonderful opportunity to meet with three Palestinians who now work in the U.S. This time was a wonderful opportunity to have some honest conversation about some of the joys and challenges that we will encounter during the next year.

With each passing day, and conversation, I am getting more excited to continue this adventure and take off. So hopefully our visas will be released from limbo soon but in the meantime, I will continue to enjoy Chicago and lying down at night to wait for the news that the new day will hopefully hold.

The Summons

Will you come and follow me if I but call your name?

Will you go where you don't know and never be the same?

Will you let my love be shown? Will you let my name be known,

will you let my life be grown in you and you in me?

Will you love the "you" you hide if I but call your name?


Will you quell the fear inside and never be the same?


Will you use the faith you've found to reshape the world around,


through my sight and touch and sound in you and you in me?

(The Summons, Evangelical Lutheran Worship 798)

It has been a crazy rollercoaster of a week at Orientation. A week full of laughter, tears, deep conversations and jokes. But most of all, it has been a week of growing in community and getting to know each other, only to be scattered to the four corners of the earth. Yet, despite the scattering, we go knowing that the community we have formed this week will be a large part of our support system for the next year.

At our closing worship on Tuesday night, our hands were anointed, we sang one of my favorite hymns in the ELW, Will You Follow Me? (The Summons). I love the questions that it asks and the challenges it poses.

They are also the questions that I have been asking myself as I prepare to leave for Jerusalem. Am I ready to answer this call? Am I ready to go to another new place? Am I ready to grow and be changed? Am I ready to face my fears? Am I ready to follow the ELCA’s motto of “God’s Work, Our Hands”?

With these questions in mind, I said my good-byes to the 42 YAGMs who left yesterday as they boarded the shuttle to O’Hare. As I said these good-byes , the closing stanza of this song echoed in my head and it serves as my prayer, both for myself and for my fellow YAGMs, for the next year:

Lord your summons echoes true when you but call my name.

Let me turn and follow you and never be the same.

In Your company I'll go where Your love and footsteps show.

Thus I'll move and live and grow in you and you in me.

Listen to the full song on Youtube here.

Read the full lyrics here: Gospel Music Lyrics.

CHI-TOWN!!!!

As of my last post we did not yet have visa approval. So in exciting news, Heidi announced Thursday morning that she had received news that all of them have been approved! So we are now officially going!!!!!! We don’t have a departure date set yet, but it should be sometime in the next two weeks! Having this stress taken care of has allowed me to enjoy this orientation time.

It has been great to be back in Chicago for the past couple of days. It has been even better to be enjoying this amazing city with 49 other YAGMs and the wonderful YAGM alum team.

We have had a lot of quality time to hang out and get to know each other a little better before we each embark on our adventures in our respective countries. We have spent most of our days sitting through presentations about important information pertaining to our year of service. However, our nights have been left fairly wide open, which means amazing hang-out time.

Last night a group of us went to Grant Park to go Cajun dancing, which was a blast. It was great to listen to live music and watch people dance, and occasionally grace the dance floor as well. One of the best parts was that people were not shy about asking us to dance and even though we had no idea what was going on, most of the times they were pretty patient teachers and leaders.

DANCING CREW!

Tonight, the country went with the alums from our countries to have dinner. Well, we had to find our alums at the restaurants following some fairly cryptic directions (Take the 60/2+26-1 bus?), but we successfully navigated our way to Chickpea and ate AMAZING Palestinian food. (Falafel and hummus anyone?) The deliciousness of this food just makes me more excited to be going for a year!

I am pretty excited to be leaving and take off on this new adventure. I am pumped to spend the year with the 5 other amazing ladies who are going with me. We have had so much fun and laughter this weekend, and I am excited to continue that!

Amazing J/WB crew!

Quick Update

So in just a few shorts hours, I will be catching a plane to head to Chicago for orientation for the next year.

Unfortunately, there have also been some unexpected challenges in getting our visa, so my departure from Chicago to Jerusalem will be a bit delayed.

On the plus side, this means I get to spend a bit of extra time in the city I love!

As we move forward, I will post updates to let you know when the new departure date is, in the mean time prayers and positive energy toward the visa process would be greatly appreciated.

It's hard to say goodbye 'Cause baby, it's a good life

Two days. That’s it. Two days. 48 hours. 2880 minutes. 172800 seconds.

It seems like just yesterday when I was getting my assignment and celebrating that in three months I would be going to Jerusalem. Now we are down to two days.

As I think about saying see you later, to many of the things that I love, I am struck by the chorus and bridge of the Sugarland song “Small Town Jericho,” (which you can hear on Youtube here and find full lyrics here ),

Goodbye to mem'ries that I saved

Goodbye to all the friends I made

Goodbye to all the home I'll ever know

Small town Jericho...(goodbye)

And every road here looks the same

This ol' town won't ever change

And that's what I love the most

And it's the reason I must go

It is a challenge to say goodbye to all the things that I will miss about my small town, but I know that I have to go. Because I words don’t seem to do anything justice. These are the things I will miss:

Packing, Packing

Through an oversight (or else probably, if you think about , just plain politeness), they don’t weigh the passengers…We struck out for Africa carrying all excess baggage on our bodies. Also, we had clothes under our clothes. My sisters and I left home wearing six pairs of under drawers, two half-slips, and camisoles; several dresses one on top of the other, with pedal pushers underneath; and outside of everything an all weather coat. (The encyclopedia advised us to count on rain). The other goods, tools, cake-mix boxes and so forth were tucked out of sight in our pockets and under our waist-bands, surrounding us in a clanking armor. (Poisonwood Bible, pg. 15)

Just before returning home, I finished reading Barbara Kingsolver’s book Poisonwood Bible, which is a story about a family who goes to the Congo as missionaries. As they prepare to leave, they are struggling with keeping all of the suitcases under the weight limit as they try to bring all the "necessities" with them. Later in the book, they start to realize that all the things they carried over with them were none of the things they needed, and the things that they needed could not have ever been packed.

The whole book was an interesting read, and a great “How-not-to” manual for mission work. However, as I am packing up, and trying to fit my life for a year into two suitcases, a carry-on and a purse, the above passage, and situation, stands out to me. As I figure out what goes and what stays, I find myself slowly eliminating the non-essentials the big comfy sweatshirt, the extra running shoes, and the excess books that wouldn’t actually get read-and hoping I don’t forget something essential-my passport, my paperwork or my plane ticket.

As I go through this slow elimination process, I find that all the things I really want to take with me, cannot be packed in a suitcase, or hidden in my clothes for that matter-the friends, the family and the places that I love and cherish. But I know that I will take all of these with me in my heart and I am grateful for that.

Seasons of Love

The year is over.

Yesterday, I said my good-byes to the students,handed over a CD with 431 pictures, turned in my keys, finished packing my bags and cleaned out my room.

As I went through each of these steps, I couldn’t help but wonder where the year had gone. This morning as my barefoot roommates helped me load my bags into Erik’s car, we realized that this year has ended where it began-barefoot on the side walk of Palisade Ave with suitcases at Erik’s car.

But how do you account for everything that happened since that day at the end of August. Or in the words of the wonderful, although slightly cliché, song Seasons of Love from Rent “How do you measure a year in the life?”

I think the song answers its own question well.

In daylight. In sunsets.

In midnights. In cups of coffee.

In inches. In miles.

In laughter. In strife.

In five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes….

It’s time now to sing out. Though the story never ends.

Lets celebrate, remember a year in the life of friends.

As I sit at LaGuardia airport, reflecting on these words, I find myself remembering all the fun and laughter. It is weird to think about this chapter in my life coming to an end, knowing that the Newark 8 will never be together again in the same way we were this year. I know that I will forever celebrate and remember this year in the life of friends.

They say a picture is worth a 1,000 words, so here are the thousands of words that provide a the measuring stick for the past year for me:

"That's when you move away"

“Are you sad to leave?”

“Are you ready to leave?”

They are such seemingly simply questions to answer-Yes or No. However, as I find myself frequently needing to answer these questions, I struggle to give an adequate answer.

As I sit on my fire escape looking at the New York skyline that has become so familiar, I discover a part of me will be sad to leave the sights and sounds that have become familiar here: the lady on her stoop feeding the neighborhood cats, the sounds of the bus routes outside, and the noise of the children at the Jubilee Center.

Over the past eleven months, Jersey City and Hoboken have become familiar and I have found a place here with my roommates, fellow interns and the Jubilee Center. I will be sad to leave these relationships behind.

Yet, as I pack my bags and prepare to leave, I know a part of me is ready to leave and return to something familiar, to the things that I have known: the wide-open spaces of Northeast Iowa the people there that I love, the slower pace of life and the place called home.

This year has been full of laughter and tears, joys and challenges. It has been a year of building new relationships and strengthening existing ones. As I board my plane to fly back to the Midwest, I know I will be taking not only be my suitcases but also many wonderful memories from the good times and lessons learned from the challenges.

As usually, I think StoryPeople sums it up pretty well (I would just edited to read people and places):

I think you love people until you get to understand them, she said

& I said, what happens then?

& she said, o, that's when you move away.